


Confusing Affair

by Mianxxi55



Category: AOMG Entertainment, Show Me the Money (Korea TV)
Genre: Light Angst, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-09
Updated: 2016-07-14
Packaged: 2018-07-22 12:34:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,247
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7439548
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mianxxi55/pseuds/Mianxxi55
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lee Sunghwa and Jung Kiseok, they have a confusing kind of relationship. Really confusing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Some

Lee Sunghwa is a very handsome boy.

Sure, everyone admitted this. Everyone, included all the female audiences who got crazy for him in all the concerts of AOMG, all the female contestants who was overwhelmed by his appearance then forgot all of their lyrics in the first round of Show Me The Money, all the fellow producers from the other teams in the show and even all the rappers in AOMG, their own company. Except the height, every shapes of him is perfect. That’s what people said. But really, Kiseok thought that even Sunghwa’s height was perfect too. Sunghwa is almost as high as Kiseok’s shoulder, and that’s why Kiseok can easily pull the younger boy into his embrace whenever he wants. So that means Sunghwa’s appearance is perfect in Kiseok’s eyes. Really perfect.

Jung Kiseok is a very handsome man.

Yeah, Sunghwa admitted that. A perfect height, a sexy body, a manly angular face, a pair of deep black eyes, a high nose bridge, a pair of full lips and a seductive smirk, it’s certain that Kiseok can take the heart of every girl he wants. When Sunghwa goes out with Kiseok, he could feel all the gazes on Kiseok from the girls around them. Kiseok is really an attractive manly man, especially when he’s rapping. Not lesser than ten times he found himself being hypnotized like a dumb while watching the older’s rap practice. Not just a handsome face, everything from Kiseok made Sunghwa feel beautiful. Everything.

Lee Sunghwa lives with his rules.

Sunghwa loves cleanliness, living messily and dirtily is unbearable to him. Everything in his house must be in the order he arranged or he would be unsatisfied. He likes making plans and following his plans, if there’re some sudden changes he will be unhappy. Sunghwa doesn’t like let anything out of control, and that’s why he always got preparation for everything he would do. It gave him excellent problem solving skills, and Kiseok really admired the younger for that. Despite being older, Kiseok seems to be a lot less mature than Sunghwa and sometimes he even had to ask the younger for a help. And everytime, even if Sunghwa always grumbled about how messy Kiseok’s life was, the younger always help him clean his mess anyways. That made Kiseok feel like he always had someone to take care of him, like a firm rear. Except his mom and Sunghwa, no one has ever made Kiseok feel that safe. Definitely no.

Jung Kiseok lives with his free soul.

Kiseok loves doing things on his own, not follow any rules and any plans but just his inspiration. Even when he has a schedule to go to the studio and record a new song, it’s not suprised to Sunghwa to find that the older boy is actually in New York or Paris or some other cities abroad that day because he feels like that place would inspire him and help him compose a good song or even just make him relaxed. Even when his apartment totally became a mess Kiseok wouldn’t mind to move a finger to just throw the garbages away but someday he may suddenly feel like cleaning everything even when just the day before Sunghwa helped him do all of those houseworks. Sunghwa thought that it’s both annoying but quite fine of Kiseok to have such that personality. When he got tired of arranging and making things around him in order then the older will tell him to let everything untidy like that and have a rest for himself. They will be lazily laying on bed together all day long even when both of them have many works to do, and althought they would be super busy the next day because of all the delayed works, Sunghwa still felt like his energy was refilled. Kiseok is the one who taught him how to enjoy his life and untied him from his own imagined discipline rope. Even how stressed life was, Sunghwa always feel comfortable because he knew that he had someone always got his back and freed his soul. And that’s all Sunghwa needs to know.

Lee Sunghwa is introverted.

Sunghwa loves staying at home or working alone in the studio. Of course their job made them to go out and communicate a lot but Kiseok knew that Sunghwa didn’t really like it. The younger boy prefers the silent places and listening to ballad music even when he’s an underground producer. That’s the reason why when Kiseok got tired with the crowded noisy society outside, his instinct always immediately leads him to Sunghwa as a salvation for his soul. Sunghwa loves peacefulness and Kiseok loves the peaceful atmosphere around Sunghwa, that’s simply how things work between them.

Jung Kiseok is extroverted.

As the co-CEO of AOMG, Kiseok is almost regarded as the official spokesman of their company because the other CEO Jay Park was afraid that he was not cautious enough with the public after the scandal with his old boygroup some years ago. It seems to be that the older man has friends everywhere he put his feet on, he’s the man of society. Parties love him, pretty girls love him, people love him. And because of that sociability, sometimes when Kiseok thought that Sunghwa fell too deep into his own sorrowful quiet world, the older man would drag him to some eventful parties, introduce him to some new friends to liven him up. Sunghwa knew that his biggest weakness is being easily beaten by himself, being easily sunk in his own emotion flows and then feeling stuck. That’s why he considered Kiseok as his navigator, as someone who could wake him up, to bring him to real life again. And he really appreciated that. From the bottom of his heart, really.

Lee Sunghwa always thinks that he needs to take care of Jung Kiseok.

Sunghwa doesn’t really understand why, but he always thinks that taking care of Kiseok is his duty. No needs to be asked by the older, Sunghwa would always come to Kiseok’s apartment once a week to clean the house for him, put all of his laundry to the washing machine, water the small garden at the front yard, cook him some nutritious food and put them to his fridge with some sticky notes at the fridge door that remind him to eat and rest well. It was became one of his unsaid rules, if he doesn’t take care of Kiseok he would feel uneasy. So that’s what he did, no needs to understand why.

Jung Kiseok always thinks that he needs to protect Lee Sunghwa.

Kiseok doesn’t really understand why but he proclaimed a duty upon himself, that’s he has to safeguard the younger at all costs. Not only trying to protect the younger, Kiseok has appointed himself as Sunghwa’s assistant to simply say no to all of the people who think they’re worthy enough of having a date with the younger boy. It wasn’t like Kiseok was jealous or something, he just thinks that he should give Sunghwa a helping hand. In between the composing works, the recording schedules, the work parties and the hangouts with Kiseok, Sunghwa definitely doesn’t have enough time for those useless dates with those boring people. Definitely.

Lee Sunghwa and Jung Kiseok, they have a confusing kind of relationship.

Everyone who sees them would think that they’re a couple. The way Kiseok puts his arm around Sunghwa’s waist, the way Sunghwa leans his head on Kiseok’s shoulder, the way their eyes sparkled when they saw each other again after Kiseok’s trip to US for SMTM audition, the way they naturally decided to stay in a same hotel room during AOMG abroad tours, slept in a same bed and fell asleep in each other’s embraces. But whenever there’s someone tell them that apparently they’re together, Kiseok would protest and Sunghwa would just smile it off as a funny joke. It seems like everyone could see it but not them two idiots.

...

\- Sunghwa, are you here?

Kiseok asked as soon as he stepped onto the terrace of Mnet building. He couldn’t find Sunghwa around the stage after they announced the result of One and Gun’s match. He immediately went up here because he know the younger loves silent places. The past few days when they lost and lost again and again, Sunghwa was always be by his side to comfort him, to keep him strong. But Kiseok knew that Sunghwa was just trying to be strong for him, and the younger had reached his limit with losing One this time. Kiseok knew that Sunghwa’s really not alright, and he knew this’s his turn to be the prop of the younger.

Yeah, Kiseok knew he was right, Sunghwa’s here. The younger was huddling at a corner of the place, and that image made Kiseok’s heart sink so deep.

\- Sunghwa...

The younger boy turned back and right when their eyes met he faked Kiseok a smile to show him that he’s alright. Kiseok sighed, he sat down beside the other and put an arm on his shoulder.

\- Spill it out.

\- What? - the younger looked at him in surprise.

\- You don’t have to pretend anymore, you don’t need to be strong for me. I get used of this fuck.

\- What are you talking about, can’t I just come here for some air? Now I feel better so let’s go down and help Byungyoon prepare for his performance, hyung. We only have one hour before it start.

Sunghwa was about to stand up and walk away before he was pulled back by the older man. He tried to escape the embrace but he just couldn’t, Kiseok was a lot stronger than him.

\- Hyung what are you doing? Let me go!

\- I won’t leave until you’re really alright so you better stay here with me and spill all out.

Sunghwa fell silent a while before heaving a sigh.

\- ... okay hyung, just let me go first.

Kiseok loosened his embrace, he knew this boy couldn’t be stubborn with him for too long.

\- Is my incompetence the main reason for our lose?

Sunghwa warily asked when they already sat down beside each other.

\- What the fuck are you talking about? Who did you get that idea from? It’s fucking ridiculous! - Kiseok was really discontent.

\- I mean, we have good rappers in our team, you trained them very well but we keep losing! Isn’t that my fault? Aren’t my song good enough to win just once?...

\- Sunghwa, listen.

The younger boy was suddenly silenced. He looked at Kiseok and felt a little relieved when the furiousness on the older’s face was slowly vanishing.

\- Firstly, you are not incompetent.

Sunghwa look at Kiseok again, unsurely.

\- Think about it, do you remember the PAK we got with Who You? That meant your song was certainly good, but we lost just because we were unlucky. You know what, win or lose, sometimes it depends on luck. Don’t blame yourself for everything. And besides, Byungyoon will help us win this match, so don’t worry.

\- Are you sure?

\- Can’t be more.

Kiseok firmly said while the younger boy just kept silent.

\- We are a team so if you are an incompetent producer, then I’m a useless rap trainer. Am I?

\- No, definitely not.

\- Good, problem’s solved. Now let’s go, we need to hurry and help Byungyoon prepare for his match.

Before Kiseok could pull the boy toward the terrace door, he spotted a smile on the younger’s lips, a real smile, not a fake one like the one before. For a long long time since they agreed to be the producers for this show till now he hasn’t seen any real smile from Sunghwa.

Kiseok suddenly felt like he wants to be the one who always be there for Sunghwa, wipe away his tears, his sadness and be the reason behind his smiles and laughters, forever. And the next thing he knew was, he suddenly felt his heart skip a beat.

Well, shit.

End shot 1.


	2. Accident

It was just a normal weekend as usual, when they hadn’t had any schedule or party Kiseok would come to Sunghwa’s house to spend a Friday evening with him. The show ended two months ago and now they could have free times for their own. Sunghwa always told Kiseok to come to his house because he knew if they spent time in Kiseok’s apartment then the older would never clean the mess when Sunghwa left. They would just watch a movie or play video games together till one of them fell asleep then the awaken one would lift the sleeping one to the bedroom, and the lifting always be Kiseok’s job. The older would lay right next to the younger and right then fall asleep because of the tiredness, and then at midnight the younger would wake up because he felt uncomfortable of not brushing his teeth and not changing in clothes. He would come to the bathroom to clean himself and then go back to sleep in the older’s embrace. Yeah, things supposed to be like that. It shoud really be. If that accident didn’t happen.

\- Hyung, you forget your towel again.

Sunghwa was standing in front of the bathroom door with a towel in his hand. This hyung always needs to be taken care of.

\- Thank you. Put it in my hand please, I can’t reach you.

A hand was poking out from behind the door and almost touched Sunghwa’s head.

\- Down here hyung, you are too tall. - the younger complained, he gave Kiseok the towel and got a loud laughter back.

...

\- What a baby. You are older than me hyung, when will you learn how to take care of yourself hyung? - Sunghwa came toward the older to bring him clothes.

\- Baby? Who’s talking? Isn’t the one who a head shorter than me? - Kiseok let out a laughter again while the younger was standing there in front of him, crossed his arms and pouting like a kid.

\- Don’t you dare talk about my height once again.

Kiseok just grinned brightly, it was never said out loud but he thought that a sulky Sunghwa was really cute.

\- What did you just say? You’re admitting that actually you’re a little dwarf???

\- Yahh this hyung!!!

Sunghwa was about to come closer and give the older a teasing slap but before he could do that, he suddenly slipped into a puddle of water on the floor. "Damn Jung Kiseok and his habit of not drying all the water on his body before getting out of the bathroom", the younger thought, he shut his eyes and prepared to have a painful fall on the hard floor.

“Ouch”

Sunghwa didn’t feel any pain from his back, instead he felt something quite soft on both his back and his lips. The younger slowly opened his eyes and immediately be in a big shock.

The thing at his back was Kiseok’s arm and the thing on his lips was, damn it, Kiseok’s lips. 

He never imagined that something such this dramatic shit could happen to him, in real life.

...

Not only the younger was in a big shock.

Reflexively, when Kiseok saw that the younger was about to fall he immediately stretched out his hand to catch him. But it was to late to keep Sunghwa from falling and because his hand was at the younger’s back, he was pulled to fall with the younger. Before Kiseok could understand what’s really happening, he recognized that he fell on Sunghwa’s body and his lips were on the younger’s soft lips.

Both of them were frozen like that for almost a minute.

Kiseok didn’t understand why he couldn’t just stand up quickly and laugh it away like a funny accident. He felt like the vague wall within him had just crumbled. He felt like his whole body was weakened, he wasn’t really sure that if his four limbs couldn’t move or they just simply didn’t want to move.

And in such that unsober state, Kiseok did something really crazy that he never could imagine.

He kissed Sunghwa. Yeah, he really kissed Lee Sunghwa, his best friend for life.

It’s totally a deep kiss, needy and desperate. Kiseok took the fact that Sunghwa wasn’t pulling away in disgust or absolute hatred as a good sign, so he continued on and groaned in surprise when Sunghwa kissed him back. An odd feeling was growing in his chest, heavy against his rib cage as if it was ready to explode. Sunghwa’s roamed his hands on Kiseok’s back, and the older grabbed and tugged at his hair. Kiseok bit at Sunghwa’s lower lip, causing Sunghwa to arch his back sexily.

When the younger finally pushed away for a breath and the other immediately sat up, both of them tried to catch their breaths while staring into each other’s eyes in silence. Both of them were thinking of what they should say, thinking if this was what they really wanted or not, if this was a mistake or not.

\- Sunghwa, I.. I...

\- Kiseok hyung.

They spoke together coincidently, and right then kept silent for a while to wait for each other to speak first.

\- I’m so sorry, I...

\- Hyung, I like you.

They spoke at the same time again, confusingly. Kiseok frowned in another surprise after his brain could understand what the younger had just said.

\- Wh... what?

\- I like you, hyung, more than a friend. It has been a quite long time. - Sunghwa blushed and bit his lips.

The older just kept silent for a minute before suddenly stood up. His heart was beating crazily in his chest, as if it desperately wanted to escape.

\- H..hyung? Did I… say something wrong? - Sunghwa looked bewildered, he was totally panicked at Kiseok’s action.

“This is wrong, we’re friends and we shouldn’t do this. I made a mistake”. Those words were repeatedly playing in Kiseok’s mind.

\- You... you kissed me, so I thought that you felt the same way? Was I wrong?

The surprise and hurt in Sunghwa’s eyes made Kiseok realized that he spoke those thoughts out loud. And that frightened him even a lot more.

He had caused this mess. Both of them would have had a normal Friday evening together without a verge of a ruined friendship if this didn’t happen. He really wanted to say “no, you’re right” and then pull the younger into his embrace, but he was just too afraid. And so then, he did the most stupid thing in his life, the thing he shouldn’t do the most in such a situation, that would make him regret for a very long time later.

He took his coat and left Sunghwa’s house without any other word, leaving his broken best friend behind.

End shot 2.


	3. Realization

Kiseok ran out of Sunghwa’s house in panic, and he didn’t know what should he do next. He felt totally lost. Totally.

“buzz”

He shakingly took out his phone and looked at the screen. Luckily, that’s not Sunghwa, the one who he wanted to avoid the most this moment.

\- Ji.. Jiho?

\- Hyung, are you okay? Why are you stammering?

\- No.. no, I’m okay, just a little cold. So why are you calling me this time?

\- I just... I just want to ask you if you’re free? Let’s get some drinks together, I think I really need some now.

Kiseok immediately replied.

\- Okay, let’s meet. I think I need a drink too.

...

\- That fucking coward Jung Kiseok, he is a fucking idiot.

Jaebum angrily hit the table.

\- No, I don’t tell you this to make you hate him so don’t talk about your hyung like that. And besides, it was partly my fault too. - Sunghwa sighed sadly.

\- I don’t see which part of this is your fault, hyung. - Jaebum hissed.

\- I think I shouldn’t confess and ruin our precious friendship, but I did. He doesn’t like me, and it’s not like I can force him to. It’s fine, I think I’ll get over it soon, just let me be dramatic about it for tonight and then everything will go back to normal.

Jaebum rubbed his forehead.

\- Don’t try to act like you’re okay when you’re not! And plus, I don’t just guess but fucking know that he is fucking in love with you with the countless amount of times I've seen him look at you like you're the most wonderful thing in the world! He’s just so stupid that he couldn’t accept the true!

\- It’s not that everything you think is true.

Sunghwa sadly took a big gulp of wine. Each word from Jaebum was like a prick in his broken heart.

\- So hyung, why did you call me here this late? Just to tell me this stupid story and then while I’m giving you some fucking objective comments about the current situation and trying to help you feel better but the only things you could do are just keeping protecting that fucking idiot, sinking into this fucking endless sorrow and sadly drinking like a fucking loser???

\- I call you because I just need someone with me now and I can’t think of anyone else but you and Kiseok hyung in such a situation. If you want to go home just go and let me be alone with these dramatic mess. And besides, stop cursing in front of me.

Sunghwa took his bottle, he stood up and lifelessly walked to his bedroom.

The younger just looked at his beloved hyung hopelessly. Jung Kiseok the bastard did turned off his phone already, and Jaebum was really not good at these love stories shit.

...

\- So hyung, what did actually make you stammer? And why did you go out in such a pajama like this?

\- What the fuck are you talking about? - Kiseok frowned at the younger’s question.

\- Oh please hyung, how cold can it be at the beginning of September? You really think I’m that gullible??? And besides, you even have your coat, hyung.

\- So what? Am I the only one who needs drinks in confusion huh? - Kiseok shot the younger a sharp glare. - So, what is your shit, Woo the fucking almighty Jiho?

Jiho just let out a quiet sigh.

\- Kid, tell me your story first. - the older looked at him sympathetically.

\- Then you will tell me your story? - the younger sent him a curious look.

\- ... yeah, maybe.

The younger hesitated, he looked quite shy.

\- I... I... I confessed.

\- What? - Kiseok widened his eyes in curiousity.

\- I... I confessed with.. my... my bestfriend. You may don’t know him. - the younger bowed his head down.

\- The little shortie rapper in your group? Then how did he respond? - the older smirked.

\- How the fuck did you know??? - the younger’s eyes widenned in surprise.

\- Anyone who has eyes all knew that, you totally fell for that little boy. - the older let out a laugh.

\- Like everyone all knew that you and Sunghwa hyung is definitely a couple, huh? - Jiho naughtily shot back and immediately extinguished the other’s smile.

The change of expression on Kiseok face couldn’t slip through the younger’s sharp eyes.

\- Your problem, it’s about Sunghwa hyung, right?

Kiseok kept silence, he just took a sip of alcohol.

\- What happened? A couple fight?

\- What? No! We’re even not a couple! - the older immediately protested as usual.

\- Yeah, like I believe. - Jiho let out a laugh - So, what actually did happen?

Kiseok still hesitated but he thought he really need some advices now, so he just told the younger everything.

\- We’re really the same hyung. We’re a couple of cowards, both ran away when we got confused with our true feelings.

Jiho painted a bitter smile on his lips after listening to all the story.

\- What? - the older asked in surprise.

\- I ran away too. I couldn’t wait till he had any response, and I ran away like a coward. I didn’t dare to face it. Just like you.

\- Hey asshole, I’m not a fucking coward! I just didn’t know what to do! - Kiseok protested.

\- Why didn’t you know what to do? Wasn’t everything so obvious???

\- What the fuck is obvious here Woo Jiho? What the fuck do you know about my situation? - Kiseok angrily responded.

\- So, if you don’t like him then why did you kiss him? And if you don’t like him then what’s so special about him that make you become a confused ball like this?

Kiseok immediately reacted to the words as if it’s the most ridiculous thing in the world. As human must breathe to live or trees must have light for photosynthesis, of course Sunghwa must be special to him. He just couldn’t find any words to explain it, explain why he needed Sunghwa to be in his life again.

Sunghwa’s certainly very special to him.

The younger knew all of Kiseok’s habits, even good or bad, and he accepted the older with all his heart no matter what happened. He knew how to read his body language and hidden feelings under every of his expressions. He knew when to leave the older alone even when he didn’t say a word and when to keep being with him persistently even when the older shooed him away. Sunghwa is the one who Kiseok knew that would never leave his side but he’s also the one that Kiseok was afraid to lose the most in his life.

Sunghwa knew Kiseok in a way no one else would ever know him, and that’s what made him special.

\- I don’t know. He just is. - Kiseok answered with a sigh after five minutes of silence. - I even don’t understand myself yet. I don’t understand why I did that, he’s my best friend and now I don’t even know what to do next with my life.

Jiho heaved a sigh, this idiot hyung’s completely hopeless.

\- If you don’t like him then just forget all about him!

\- Forget about him? - Kiseok bewilderedly looked at the younger.

If getting back to normal meant forgetting all about Sunghwa, Kiseok would rather deal with the pain for the rest of his life.

\- Yeah, or you can just go back there and say an apology, say that you two should come back to normal life, forget about what happened and then be friends like you were before!

Friends.

Wasn’t it what Kiseok wanted? They would keep being friends, living like they has been for all the time. They would continue spending Friday evenings together. They would again together do everything that they’ve always done together, under the label of friendship.

But somehow, Kiseok felt his heart so heavy in his chest that he could stop breathing right that moment, when he thought about them being friends again, like they were before. He recognized that he didn’t want it. He didn’t want them to still be friends. He didn’t want things to go back to normal again. Definitely not.

After that kiss, Kiseok recognized that he had always wanted to have something with Sunghwa that more than friends could have together. He was always be content with this “friendship” relationship because even if it’s just a friendship, his relationship with Sunghwa is too valuable for Kiseok to lose. He didn’t dare to think about taking a risk, and he was freaked out when the one who took that risk first was not him but the younger. Yeah, Jiho was right, he is a fucking coward.

And right at that moment, all the pieces slowly fitted together in his mind and it took him a few seconds to let it sink in.

\- Holy shit, I think I’m in love with Sunghwa.

Jiho didn’t ask him about the sudden timing, the younger just let out a sympathetic laugh at his hyung’s soulless face.

\- Finally your brain woke up hyung. Finally.

End shot 3.


	4. Together

Forget about his close junior and his childish love story, it took Kiseok two days to have enough courage to come to find Sunghwa.

\- Where is he?

\- He’s just gone out for a while. What? What do you find him for after missing two days?

No need to ask who the older was talking about, Jaebum just looked at him mockingly with a satisfied smirk on his face.

\- I have to talk to him, there’s some misunderstanding need to be solved.

Kiseok tried to keep his calmness when the younger just snickered. He suddenly stood up and came closer to the older before shooting him a very sharp glare and grabbing his collar.

\- You don’t deserve Sunghwa after what you’ve done to him, jerk.

Before Kiseok could defend himself or scold Jaebum for the lack of honorifics, the younger harshly shoved him away and walked out of the room immediately, sparing no pitiful glance to the older man.

Kiseok felt like his heart stopped beating in some seconds when he heard Sunghwa’s name and recalled how cowardly he treated the younger. Kiseok heaved a sigh, he knew that he had to fix his actual mistake as soon as possible.

...

\- SUNGHWA! BE CAREFUL!!!

Sunghwa had barely understood what was happening but suddenly he felt being pushed hard back to the curb. Opening his eyes in shock, he couldn’t be more suprised to see a Jung Kiseok fallen on top of him.

\- H... hyung?

Kiseok immediately recovered and hurriedly stood up. If he didn’t coincidently decided to get out to buy a coffee while waiting for Sunghwa to come back and didn’t see the car was coming when the younger was flightily crossing the street while checking his phone then what would happen, he even didn’t dare to imagine. Kiseok secretly checked if the younger got any injury and when he made sure that Sunghwa didn’t, he warily asked:

\- Are.. are you okay?

\- Ah... yeah, thanks for saving me, hyung. - Sunghwa answered while awkwardly dusting his clothes, he still felt like couldn’t look straight at the older’s eyes althought his heart was swelling a bit of the older’s caring action.

\- Oh.. if you are okay then it’s okay. Yeah... let’s go back to the studio, I think we have to talk to each other.

Kiseok suddenly hesitated when he saw the younger’s confused expression, but then he tried to keep calm. He still had a bigger problem to solve, he couldn’t be a coward once again.

On the way to the studio, even in the elevator, they didn’t say a single word. The atmosphere was really strained, and Sunghwa was shaking a bit when thinking about what Kiseok would talk to him. An outright rejection? Or something like “I’m so sorry, I made a mistake, can we forget about what happened, go back to normal and be friends again?”? Anyways, it was expected to be a bitter rejection. With fingers curling in and nails digging into his palms, he almost couldn’t breathe because of the fear was squeezing his heart and piercing his lungs like millions pieces of glass. He didn’t prepare to be in such a terrible situation.

Kiseok could see Sunghwa’s insecurities and he had to try to refrain himself from pulling the younger into a tight embrace. Maybe he would do that later, just need to wait for a few more minute.

...

\- So, what do you want to talk about?

Sunghwa took all his courage to ask the older after they already have been in his working room and they already sat down for a minute but didn’t say a word to each other.

\- I... I...

There’s totally a mess in Kiseok’s head, right this moment.

Everything he prepared to say to Sunghwa suddenly vanished as he didn’t think about it. The sadness in the younger’s eyes even made him more confused.

\- Sunghwa, I’m so sorry...

Sunghwa already prepared to be disappointed.

\- That day... I... I made such a huge mistake...

Well...

\- Hyung, stop.

He suddenly interrupted the older man.

\- I know what you will say next. Okay, we can forget everything keep being friends but you know that it will never be like how it was before, right?

Kiseok dazedly looked at the younger.

\- What are you talking about?

\- I know hyung, of course I know what you are going to say next. That you’re so sorry of what you’ve done, you’re so sorry of kissing me and then you will ask me if we can forget about what happened and be friends again. I know, I think that our friendship is precious too, and I’m so sorry that I ruined it with my stupid confession, and I want you to forget about it too even when my heart was crumbling but everything I want was your happiness so let’s forget about this and just start over...

The younger’s watery eyes’re like a hard punch in Kiseok’s chest.

\- No, Sunghwa stop! I didn’t mean that! It’s not what you’re thinking!

Sunghwa immediately silenced in surprise with the older’s explosion.

\- Look at my eyes, and please listen carefully every words I say right now.

The older gently cupped Sunghwa’s face and looked straight at his eyes. The close distance between their faces suddenly made the younger’s heart almost melted.

\- I want to say that I’m sorry, I made a mistake because that night I ran away after what I’ve done and left you alone. I’m sorry that you had to say sorry for the right thing you did while I’m the one who acted like shit. I’m sorry that I was so stupid. I’m so sorry that I didn’t understand myself sooner. I’m sorry that I hurt you like hell while I totally could man up and admit my true feelings for you instead of keeping hiding it under the name of friendship like a fucking coward who didn’t dare to face the truth.

The more words Kiseok was saying, the faster Sunghwa’s heart was beating.

\- I’m so sorry for what I’ve done the whole time. I just..

Kiseok paused for a second in hesitation to find the right words to use but when their eyes met again, his mind almost went blank. So all he could do was just following his instinct and saying the only three words in his head at that moment.

\- I love you.

Before Sunghwa could respond, Kiseok softly pressed their lips together. Unlike the previous accidental one, this kiss was full of raw emotion and loving feelings overflowing from the bottom of their hearts. A tear was falling from the closed eyes of the younger and Kiseok gently wiped it away by his thumb while promising to himself that it’s the last time he made the younger cry. He could feel the younger’s arms wrapping around his neck as he wanted to deepen the kiss, and Kiseok responded the younger by wrapping his arms around Sunghwa’s waist and pressed their bodies together.

Sunghwa could taste the coffee on Kiseok’s tongue. A part of himself wanted to pull the older away and nag him about again having a cup of espresso instead of eating breakfast because he knew that’s what Kiseok always did, but the other part told him that right now he even wasn’t sober enough to care. He blamed on the coffee, it was always the coffee. Kiseok should drink coffee everyday, Sunghwa thought as the older slowly pushed him lying down on the sofa.

Before totally losing their control, they still could hear someone outside screaming something about “gosh how the fuck dare you two to make out here in my office”. Perhaps they already knew who was that, but well, who still cares?

...

It was a normal Friday evening, as usual.

Yeah, there’re not much changes. Kiseok came to Sunghwa’s house to spend the evening with him and they ate pasta which was cooked by the younger then watching a movie named What If together. Sunghwa even didn’t washed the dishes but that could be done tomorrow because Kiseok told him to let them be and also because now he’s enjoying watching Daniel Radcliffe and Zoe Kazan staring at each other intently.

\- Do you think that this movie will have a happy ending? - Sunghwa suddenly asked Kiseok after taking a gulp of latte.

He turned beside after the question and startled a bit by the older’s loving look.

\- Yes, I’m sure that they definitely will be together. I’ve already seen something like this before by my own eyes, started out as friendship and grew into something bigger.

No need to wait for the younger’s response to his cheesiness, Kiseok suddenly reached out and used his thumb to wipe the coffee foam on the side of Sunghwa’s mouth. The younger rolled his eyes but still be blushing when Kiseok licked the foam off his fingers and sent him a seducing wink.

Sunghwa still fell asleep somewhere about the end of the movie and lifting the younger to the bedroom was still Kiseok’s job.

They totally looked like a newly married couple with Sunghwa sleeping peacefully in Kiseok’s embrace on Sunghwa’s new king size bed, no need to ask but Kiseok understood what the younger bought it for. The duvet was so warm and the mattress felt softer than usual. The way Sunghwa smelt like caffeine and something indescribable in his heart made him want to keep the younger in his arms forever.

Kiseok smiled at the sleeping beauty’s face next to him as he pressed a kiss on Sunghwa's forehead.

\- Goodnight, Sunghwa.

“I love you”.

He quickly fell asleep without noticing a slight smile at the younger’s lips.

“I love you too”.

End.


End file.
